everyone is single if you try hard enough
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
