if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
