you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
