Taylor Swift is so right about you.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
