How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
