We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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