I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
