I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
