i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize