M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Come on in and take your pants off
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