I'm jealous of your bromance
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize