Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's like heaven, but drunker
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
