do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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