is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
