trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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