Please, let me fuck your mom
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
