just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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