that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
