I didn't shave. On purpose
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
