Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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