I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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