I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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