What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
