just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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