is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
