When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
