Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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