Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
