I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
