don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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