i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
