You made me cry and you don't even care
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
