I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.