i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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