Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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