sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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