It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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