The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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