I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize