Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sorry about my life...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
