Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize