jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
