Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
