someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
