It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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