he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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