I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
