Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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