Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.

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(818): View more from California

I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.

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(631): View more from New York

i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.

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(713): View more from Texas

yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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(+61): View more from Australia

THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon

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(720): View more from Colorado

Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.

(303): View more from Colorado

Twice?!

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