I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.