Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...