Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.

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  (918): I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler. http://tfl.nu/ufcl
  Replies (63) Good night (5364) Bad night (1386)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?

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  (402): he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now? http://tfl.nu/i3gk
  Replies (23) Good night (1064) Bad night (8101)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  "romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits

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  (201): "romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits http://tfl.nu/qyqs
  Replies (54) Good night (4985) Bad night (692)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.

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  (250): i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay. http://tfl.nu/ht4h
  Replies (15) Good night (6718) Bad night (686)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!

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  (813): for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?! http://tfl.nu/r22y
  Replies (51) Good night (6868) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic

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  (786): Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic http://tfl.nu/fwzo
  Replies (58) Good night (1119) Bad night (5648)
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  (650): View more from California

  last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'

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  (650): last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.' http://tfl.nu/3iza
  Replies (16) Good night (5607) Bad night (1367)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.

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  (570): Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad. http://tfl.nu/ox9m
  Replies (15) Good night (3164) Bad night (1609)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.

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  (570): Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again. http://tfl.nu/7ky3
  Replies (8) Good night (2136) Bad night (1015)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.

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  (414): czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw. http://tfl.nu/4g8m
  Replies (7) Good night (1831) Bad night (934)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white

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  (512): he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white http://tfl.nu/k2oa
  Replies (10) Good night (711) Bad night (2131)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.

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  (320): Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean. http://tfl.nu/p8ix
  Replies (6) Good night (2490) Bad night (722)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.

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  (902): Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control. http://tfl.nu/b8uq
  Replies (7) Good night (1311) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.

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  (863): We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth. http://tfl.nu/zjcp
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (489)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.

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  (308): You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture. http://tfl.nu/dxd6
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (345)

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