Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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