I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
