Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
