In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
