I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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