No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize