I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
