Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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