**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Boobs are out for the taking
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
