WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Alive.
So much puke
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
