He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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