Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
