So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
