Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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